The Axe Effect !!

Unable to attract even a single girl, frustrated man sues Axe

New Delhi. In what could prove to be a major marketing and legal

embarrassment for Hindustan Unilever Limited (HUL), a 26-year-old man

has filed a case against the FMCG company, which owns the Axe brand of

men grooming products, for ‘cheating’ and causing him ‘mental

suffering’. The plaintiff has cited his failure to attract any girl at

all even though he’s been using Axe products for over seven years now.

Axe advertisements suggest that the products help men in instantly

attracting women.

Vaibhav Bedi, the petitioner, also surrendered all his used, unused and

half-used deodorant sprays, perfume sticks and roll-ons,

anti-perspirants, aftershaves, body washes, shampoos, and hair gels to

the court, and demanded a laboratory test of the products and narcotics

test of the brand managers of Axe. Vaibhav was pushed to take this step

when his bai (maid) beat him with a broom when he tried to impress her

after applying all the Axe products. cid:image010.gif@01CA2192.E9691400

No girl ever asked Vaibhav to call her

No girl ever asked Vaibhav to call her

“Where the **** is the Axe effect? I’ve been waiting for it for over

seven years. Right from my college to now in my office, no girl ever

agreed to even go out for a tea or coffee with me, even though I’m sure

they could smell my perfumes, deodorants and aftershaves. I always

applied them in abundance to make sure the girls get turned on as they

show in the television. Finally I thought I’d try to impress my lonely

bai who had an ugly fight with her husband and was living alone for over

a year. Axe effect my foot!” Vaibhav expressed his unhappiness.

Vaibhav claims that he had been using all the Axe products as per the

company’s instructions even since he first bought them. He argued that

if he couldn’t experience the Axe effect despite using the products as

directed, either the company was making false claims or selling fake

products.

“I had always stored them in cool and dry place, and kept them away from

direct light or heat. I’d always use a ruler before applying the spray

and make sure that the distance between the nozzle and my armpit was at

least 15 centimeters. I’d do everything they told. I even beat up my

5-year-old nephew for coming near my closet, as they had instructed it

to keep away from children’s reach. And yet, all I get is a broom

beating from my ugly bai.” Vaibhav expressed his frustration.

Vaibhav claims that he had to do go a lot of mental suffering and public

humiliation due to the lack of Axe effect and wants HUL to compensate

him for this agony. An advocate in Karkardooma court, who happened to

mistake Vaibhav for some deodorant vendor when he entered the court

premises with all the bottles, has now offered to take up his case in

the court. HUL has been served a legal notice in this regard.

HUL has officially declined to comment on the case citing the subject to

be sub judice, but our sources inform that the company was worried over

the possible outcomes of the case. The company might argue that Vaibhav

was hopelessly unattractive and unintelligent and didn’t possess the

bare minimum requirements for the Axe effect to take place. Officially

HUL has not issued any statement, but legal experts believe that HUL

could have tough time convincing the court.

“HUL might be tempted to take that line of argument, but it is very

risky. There is no data to substantiate the supposition that

unattractive and unintelligent men don’t attract women. In fact some of

the best looking women have been known to marry and date absolutely

ghoulish guys. I’d suggest that the company settles this issue out of

court.” noted lawyer Ram Jhoothmalani said.

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